11-22-2015, 12:23 PM
(11-22-2015, 10:33 AM)Elros Tar-Minyatur Wrote: I don't get why you always come to say that the Creator does not care. How does the Creator not care when it is what is experiencing your every pain and processing the every thoughts you are sharing. You words are the Creator's words about it's own experience of itself.
Picture that there is the Source, nothing else but one singularity that is perfectly unified, and that your awareness is exactly that but veiled into being individualized of the rest of yourself, finite among infinity. Spiritual evolution works toward breaking down these barriers/veils until no octaves, densities, separation of any kind are left. Just an intelligent infinity that always come to accept/love every experience it ever has and incorporates the mirror unto itself.
I get the creator cares. It also doesn't care. The Creator is all things, Min, not just one or the other.
But otherwise, I have the exact same logic as you do. Just lack the rationale in my anger and irritation at myself. Worse monsters get killed with extreme prejudice, see where that leads to? War. We're already here, when will it actually stop in real life?
I don't know why I care so much and get so furiously mad about these things. I honestly wish I didn't care, but it's because I do I don't know what to do anymore that will make a noticeable change in people's lives around me. Doing the Law of One only helped myself, and what people I did help, I can't say it did anything but give them a memory, that in retrospect, won't even be remembered after a point. I'm small, I'm nothing, can't do anything.
Feel mad, see a lot of bad, obviously means there's a lot of bad in me, don't want to be it, go crazy and become it anyways?
I don't believe so, I think what I feel is pretty valid, as well as anyone's ridicule of my feelings or what not.
What might screw with people is even though I can self-identify as a monster, I don't typically, as well as don't assign that label to people typically, because I love myself, and people.
I just hate the bad in all of us now. I'm tired of it all, inside of myself and others, I accept it and understand to some personal level of reality, why bad must exist, why bad isn't bad, why 'wrong' is in itself wrong/right.
But! In emotion, when you're in it, I don't see many justifications or rationale or reasons that...promptly provide any form of...understanding or relief, or even steadily or slowly provide any such explanations about 'why' these things are happening 'at all'. The various explanations are as good as any, all could literally be valid one way or another.
Emotions go much more deeper, and then the results is basically logic begins breaking down, irrational and rational become one, everything gets more involved. In this place where that information isn't available, emotions seriously hurt.
(11-22-2015, 10:42 AM)earth_spirit Wrote:(11-22-2015, 10:08 AM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote:(11-22-2015, 07:59 AM)earth_spirit Wrote: @TTP
You are the "monster" whom you are talking about. There is no escape from yourself.
I know, as are all of you.
I don't get why that doesn't bother you guys honestly. It freaks me out.
I guess I don't dwell on the same kind of thoughts as you do. I prefer love, thanksgiving, acceptance and enjoying myself (as well as "others")
No offense implied, as I appreciate your contrarian views.
Nothing can bother you unless you want or allow it to.
(11-22-2015, 10:08 AM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: I'm trying to spiritually murder the god inside of me... (or make it all stop/cease?)
Good luck with that. "God" has no "Life" to take. He is Sovereign. Alpha and Omega. There is no end to suffering.
You are allegedly not trying to "escape", but my point still stands. You don't have many options, as you can either choose the path of acceptance or the path of seperation.
(11-22-2015, 10:08 AM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: Why can't everyone just Be Nice to each other???
Because that would make it too easy.
If you truly wanted to live in a world where everyone is loving and considerate, I'd say you'd be there in the first place. Maybe you wanted to spice things up a bit.
(11-22-2015, 10:08 AM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: I'm the Monster who kills monsters.
Reminds me of Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate. I used to love that anime but in hindsight I think it is rather juvenile and petty.
(11-22-2015, 10:08 AM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: If I could, I would be a monster hunter (the games are really fun too actually), and I'd just vigilante horrible people.
I like to be "evil" in videogames. A warlock who summons monsters from the pits of hell, a sociopathic gangbanger, or a cybernetic intelligence that enslaves humans by stripping them of their individuality. A fun contrast from real life where I feel guilty for stepping on grass.
It's like that picture with the dog in the burning house holding a tea cup, and hes just like, 'This is Fine'. ...Is it really fine though?
Good point, it's why I don't really expect much to come out of it, life/less, the perfect means of immortality. I honestly disagree with your Choice A or B summation. Why not both? C. Both. I'm a Human, and a Soul, I've explored my soul side emotionally pretty decently, I have a good idea of who I am, and love myself for it. So now I'm checking out the Human side and -whooooohooyoowoah, angry! Angry angry! Angry and annoyed and pissed off! A lot.
You could say I'm just not pleased with the way life is for people in general, not just for myself. OR for animals. Or even material objects...
Add in all this extra filler info regards polarity, wars, right and wrong, lack of, and it's a very intense filter for all of that, it's like... It's like a volcano, and the emotion is like fuel, and the surroundings are providing the fuel. And I usually just boil, or 'seethe' with irritation lately, at life on earth for many people in general. I'd send them love except just like I think praying is a small means and basically a waste of time (I know it's actually metaphysically, really not!) and similarly I think 'sending love' isn't much better beyond thinking happy thoughts for suffering people. Instead I do what I can for them where I've the power to do so. It's my way, I'm serious and critical, I'm a bit cold and apathetic now too. I don't want to be, but I am regardless because I have to be to deal with the endless onslaught of seeing people suffer each day.
Regards spicing things up. I think by the sensation of weariness I've had all my life.
I think I'm here trying to just god damn get this incarnation over with, and tired of 3D and Earth and want to get the hell away and go enjoy myself in a different friggen galaxy where people can darn interact with each other face to face and not want to hurt them for looking a certain way or being a certain way. Spice, no, I wanted everything nice, less spice more nice, and maybe a way lot of sugar
How is being nice too easy? I'm nice to my Mom every day and it's the HARDEST damn thing I have ever had to do sometimes. How is being nice too easy?? If that were true, everyone would be doing it by default!
No, E_s, in my view, Being nice is hard to do for your typical person unaware and uncaring on the street. Maybe it's easy in neutrality for many, but when being confronted with anger and fury, it is no different than braving a flood with your bare body, you can either fight it, or let it go, when you fight, you usually lose. Being nice requires letting go, whether it be in apathy or empathy, it need be done first to properly convey niceness honestly.
Least that's what I do when facing, 'do hath I desire or hell shall fall upon thee' attitudes from my Mother. Or very furious customers who are insulting me directly.
It is petty, you should watch Code Geass, that'll show you just how petty and juvenile it can be.
But then again I too am very petty, and irrationally so, can be juvenile (least I think so) at many times. So it makes sense, it just means I need to balance, something I'll begin in my meditations soon, since I'm beginning to notice how bad things are getting for me through my own self.
Maybe I need to find a job not in customer service. God, maybe that's my second only problem. First being I'm emotionally a wreck and need to get that figured out instead of blaming God, lol.
I can be serious, it's just me, but I can't stand it. Am I the only one who feels these things, these ways?
I play good morality in video games always. I only recently played Fallout NV and Skyrim as a neutral character who killed more openly annoying npc's or stole from them. I don't like being cruel even in video games. I even hate cruel porn and can't stand cruel people. Cruelty is just, so; Self explanatory.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels pain or what you attribute 'guilty' as when stepping on grass. I think concrete likes it though, maybe to it I'm soft, whereas to grass, I'm crazy solid, or lethally so...
I imagine pencils dislike being sharpened, but like being sharp.
Whereas Knives might enjoy being sharpened, and sharp.
I see how some see me as humanizing some things too much. Especially with 2D items and 1D items. I'll have to balance that out, it's just so scary to think. I'm always hurting something just to survive. I dislike feeling like a parasite, or a virus if you've seen The Matrix.
Well thank you for talking with me folks, I've processed myself pretty decently and am relatively shocked at my own state of being.
Time to just settle down and stop for a bit, I hope Aion or someone else will consider reiki for me while I return to my own roots right in the Ra Material itself, and unjumble my own madness.
...Again...