My awakening
07-30-2009, 08:04 PM,
#1
My awakening
Hi all,

I've been reading the forum for a while and thought it was about time I should post my awakening story. I'm very new to this - I only 'stumbled' across the RA Material a couple of months ago and it instantly resonated with me. What i have to tell came from absolutely no prior knowledge to anything RA related and I had no spiritual background at the time of the awakening.

Seven months ago (I'm 25) I had a spontaneus Kundalini awakening induced by LSD and my life hasn't been the same since. I was a skeptic when it came to anything psychic, paranormal and even spiritual. I liked the idea of such things but was the kind of person that needed proof before believing....

I had always experimented with drugs socially and for partying etc and am the kind of person that is aware enough not to lose control or over do it. I've smoked weed for years because I enjoy chilling out and listening to music. I took ecstacy many, many times and enjoyed it but it's not something I'm addicted to (or can become addicted to). I thought those kind of states where the best you could feel although you do pay for it the next day.

I was always intrigued with LSD, I don't know why but I knew it had powers and I think in some way I always expected it would unlock something within me. I took a couple of trips at home, just me and a friend - I went off to the bathroom on my own. The next thing I felt was the rush of energy coming from my spine (I now know to be kundalini energy). My arms raised on their own - at this stage i was on automatic. My heart chakra opened and energy and light like I never felt fefore came down from above, I closed my eyes and saw an image of Jesus Christ come into my heart with the white light/energy accompanied with the feeling of pure bliss and infinite LOVE. Baring in mind at this stage in my life I had absolutely no belief or interest in Jesus/God and had never heard of the chakras. I felt really weirded out and knew something spiritual happened to me. What? I had no idea.

At this stage i was speechless and returned to my friend who was wondering where I had gone. Oh! I might add shortly before all of this we were out looking at stars which i think played a part in my connecting with the universe. Anyway, he went home because I think he sensed i needed to be alone (I did).

Later on I was still baffled and I had another energy release. This time I opened the third eye chakra and the crown chakra. I looked at my hands and saw them age rapidly, I saw a vision of what felt like my own funeral. What I can only describe as a portal opened up in front of me. Something that transcended physical reality. I could actually feel streams of air (now known to be chi) running through it. If any of you have ever saw Donny Darko it was very similar to that. Again after feeling fearful and confused I was filled with the great love and light from above again. it was wonderful. Not all of it was wonderful though. I felt what I thought was me being judged for my sins which really scared me. I felt a kind of judgement and I pleaded that I be forgiven. I felt the light/love again. That night i was no longer afraid of death. Strange but true.

It was very spiritual yet very paranormal. In the following days and weeks i felt like I had learned the secrets of the universe or something. Yup, it was that extreme!

From then on I've been pursuing what happened to me that night by using websites like wikipedia etc. It's brought me here. it's opened me up to meditation, astral projection, self awareness, positive thinking, intuition, greater creativity, psychic abilities etc. All things I had previously disregarded.

I feel blessed because i know for other people it could've been the worse experience of their life. I think I was ready for it which is why it was so beneficial. My friends think I'm a different person.

I've used LSD since then but I realise now I don't need drugs to reach those levels of consciousness. Although in the times I've taken it since I felt what i think is pure awareness - where I could literally watch myself and feel that everyone in the room was just a reflection of me! I came to my own conclusions about subjective reality before knowing such a theory even existed!

I haven't taken LSD though since a couple of months ago where I freaked myelf out. I was able to feel everyone in the rooms emotions and more than that, control their emotions. I got scared when it felt like how i can only describe as my mind catching up on itself. Almost like I was out thinking my own awareness of being aware!

I haven't taken LSD since then but would still smoke. I feel like quitting alcohol and I'm not bothered about ecstacy anymore. For me and only for me i can say that drugs have been beneficial but I know that I am a rare exception. They've changed me in a positive way but I still wouldn't recommend them for anyone else... As much as that probably doesn't make sense.

Since the initial awakening I've been trying to make sense of the true nature of reality.

I was especially intrigued by what I came across whilst reading The Law of One Book One: (Page 90, session 6)

"There are many upon your plane who have a random hole or gateway in their spirit energy field, sometimes created by the ingestion of chemicals such as, what this instrument would call LSD, who are able, randomly and without control, to tap into energy sources. They may or may not be entities who wish to serve. the purpose of carefully and consciously opening this channel is to serve in a more dependable way, in a more commonplace or usual way as seen by the distortion complex of the healer. to others there may appear to be miracles. To the one who has carefully opened the door to intelligent infinity this is ordinary; this is commonplace; this is as it should be. The life experience becomes somewhat transformed. The great work goes on."

Thanks for taking the time to read. Any thoughts?
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07-31-2009, 04:44 AM,
#2
RE: My awakening
You outline a wonderful example of LSD gone right, with nice company and setting. I believe it's a much higher chance of having a great trip if these things makes the user comfortable. Strassman who wrote "DMT - The Spirit Molecule" outlines this idea quite throughroughly in that book. In a LoO viewpoint, this may make the user more focused and searching for love, and thus attract positive entities who wish to serve and not abuse.
I'm sure there are many negative entities waiting to crush the unprepared wanderer, who do not bathe these in unconditional love and light, which we have all read many examples of - whether self-induced or manipulated.

Well, I'm simply theorizing, I've not taken any psychedelics myself, but someday. Wink
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07-31-2009, 05:51 AM,
#3
RE: My awakening
I'll say it any time I make a drug related comment: There is no need to use chemicals to awaken your psychic potential. In effect it's only a shock to the system which might give you an excuse to become awake. (Alternative you might start chasing gnomes or get trapped in some other illusion)

That said: You could check out Timothy Leary's The psychedelic experience it is based on the Bardo Thodol, the Tibettan book of the dead. It's essentially a guide for a traveller and a guide to guide the psychedelic experience to introduce the different layers of consciousness.

The Bardo Thodol was intended to guide someone on his moment of death through these layers in effect escaping the karmic wheel. Mr. Leary figured you don't really need to die for it and adapted it for the psychedelic experience.
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07-31-2009, 06:33 AM,
#4
RE: My awakening
(07-31-2009, 05:51 AM)Ali Quadir Wrote:  That said: You could check out Timothy Leary's The psychedelic experience it is based on the Bardo Thodol, the Tibettan book of the dead. It's essentially a guide for a traveller and a guide to guide the psychedelic experience to introduce the different layers of consciousness.

Reading this now, it's very interesting.. Thank you Ali.
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07-31-2009, 09:35 AM,
#5
RE: My awakening
DAa, sorry for the delay, the wanderer stories are usually longer and I tend to save them for the evenings. Wink I didn't this time. After reading Ayadews response I just got caught in your initial message.

In my opinion your experience was very pure. It's like a series of perfect examples of common experiences. Not to detract from how special it was to you. There will be few experiences in life more intense than this one. And most people don't even get this one. Even those who do experiment with LSD.

Everything below is my opinion and insights guided by my previous experiences and what other people told me. Take what you like and leave what you don't like. There are no absolutes.

(07-30-2009, 08:04 PM)DAa Wrote:  I took a couple of trips at home, just me and a friend - I went off to the bathroom on my own. The next thing I felt was the rush of energy coming from my spine (I now know to be kundalini energy). My arms raised on their own - at this stage i was on automatic. My heart chakra opened and energy and light like I never felt fefore came down from above, I closed my eyes and saw an image of Jesus Christ come into my heart with the white light/energy accompanied with the feeling of pure bliss and infinite LOVE. Baring in mind at this stage in my life I had absolutely no belief or interest in Jesus/God and had never heard of the chakras. I felt really weirded out and knew something spiritual happened to me. What? I had no idea.
Wow Smile This is a very pure vision, Christ is associated with the heart. Which is why the catholics often put a heart on christ's chest. People sometimes call the awakened state Christ consciousness. It's literally what they meant with the second coming. It seems your subconscious mind clearly communicated to you what was happening to you. Your arms raising was also a clear connecting to this Christ energy. Not so much a reference to death on the cross. I'm assuming you held your palms up because that's basically a power position allowing the ideal flow of energy through your body. As you say from above to below. If you had not assumed that position you would have slowed the energy down. If you were really into it you might have even pressed your tongue against the roof of your mouth. The body sometimes just assumes these postures and they have pronounced effects.

Quote:Later on I was still baffled and I had another energy release. This time I opened the third eye chakra and the crown chakra. I looked at my hands and saw them age rapidly, I saw a vision of what felt like my own funeral. What I can only describe as a portal opened up in front of me. Something that transcended physical reality. I could actually feel streams of air (now known to be chi) running through it. If any of you have ever saw Donny Darko it was very similar to that. Again after feeling fearful and confused I was filled with the great love and light from above again. it was wonderful. Not all of it was wonderful though. I felt what I thought was me being judged for my sins which really scared me. I felt a kind of judgement and I pleaded that I be forgiven. I felt the light/love again. That night i was no longer afraid of death. Strange but true.
The death experience Smile To enter into a new phase you need to die first. This experience has to be difficult to be cleansing. But the point is the cleansing of the old. If you stop struggling and surrender to it will always be followed by a very tranquil heavenly state.

Basically death, purgatory, heaven. Hell is when you fight purgatory for so long that you become convinced you're lost. Even then though surrender is the way out.

There are literally hundreds of rituals intended to create and guide this experience. You did it on your own.

In a past life I have participated in a ritual where we would basically bury ourselves alive in the catacombs of the monastery for three days. After which we'd be dug up again. (Assuming no one forgot) I still have dreams where I am chewing earth and digging myself into the ground. It's like replacing myself with earth.

Quote:It was very spiritual yet very paranormal. In the following days and weeks i felt like I had learned the secrets of the universe or something. Yup, it was that extreme!
Smile Extreme? Don't you think it was about time for someone to finally tell you the secrets of the universe? Tongue

Quote:From then on I've been pursuing what happened to me that night by using websites like wikipedia etc. It's brought me here. it's opened me up to meditation, astral projection, self awareness, positive thinking, intuition, greater creativity, psychic abilities etc. All things I had previously disregarded.
You can't ever recreate the experience. You can only create others like it. There is no clear way to do this that I know. But the best way I know is to pray, create possibility and then when they kick in, embrace and enjoy. There's going to be a lot of small kundalini movements just acknowledge them and encourage them like you would encourage a child who did something right.

Pray to your higher self, your God, your ancestors, the great spirit, the vacuum cleaner. Whatever you feel like as long as there is some form of communication which allows you to clearly express your intent to have more.

I have two or three minor experiences per day, caused by music, by good things people do to each other, memories, the sun, physical exercise. All a few seconds each. Basically I can't invoke them. But I always turn my full attention on them. Occasionally they just grow bigger and I can be sitting behind my desk just feeling orgasmic for a minute or two then continue working on whatever I'm doing.

Quote:I feel blessed because i know for other people it could've been the worse experience of their life. I think I was ready for it which is why it was so beneficial. My friends think I'm a different person.
You very likely are. That death experience is known to cause that. Especially the first time. I experienced something similar, not on LSD but on mushrooms. That kick started it for me this life, just like it did for you. I don't even have the friends I had back then any more. Some wandered off. But probably most relevant is that I just decided to move to a place where I knew I had to rebuild everything. I retained only my family and built up from there. I really am a different person.

Quote:I've used LSD since then but I realise now I don't need drugs to reach those levels of consciousness. Although in the times I've taken it since I felt what i think is pure awareness - where I could literally watch myself and feel that everyone in the room was just a reflection of me! I came to my own conclusions about subjective reality before knowing such a theory even existed!
Exactly. Smile My theory is that the chemical jolts your system by breaking down normal functions that we take for granted. Giving you insights that otherwise would be difficult to attain. It does not turn you into a spiritual man. You were that long before even if you had convinced yourself you were not. You were primed to experience it like this. It was you. Your choices. Your agreement with your higher self. LSD was just a catalyst.

You say you came to your own conclusions about the theory of oneness. I'm more impressed by your spontaneous self initiation though Wink

Quote:I haven't taken LSD though since a couple of months ago where I freaked myelf out. I was able to feel everyone in the rooms emotions and more than that, control their emotions. I got scared when it felt like how i can only describe as my mind catching up on itself. Almost like I was out thinking my own awareness of being aware!
This time round you didn't manage to surrender to the experience like you did with the death experience before. Part of death is fading into the surroundings like blood flowing into the ground. This was similar but interpersonal and is just harder to surrender to for social creatures like us. Peoples emotions can really overload us.

You can probably feel peoples emotions in the daily state if you're open to it. LSD repressed the filter that removes it from your attention. The filter is at work now, but so is the ability to feel other peoples emotions and influence them.

I've done the latter a lot. Going out into town I'd emit an emotion and in something like an hour people copy the emotion. Basically emotions randomly fluctuate left right up down happy sad. But if you apply a gentle push over prolonged time into a singular direction it can have drastic effects.

Quote:I haven't taken LSD since then but would still smoke. I feel like quitting alcohol and I'm not bothered about ecstacy anymore. For me and only for me i can say that drugs have been beneficial but I know that I am a rare exception. They've changed me in a positive way but I still wouldn't recommend them for anyone else... As much as that probably doesn't make sense.
I agree. It's a terrible risk to take. People have ended up in mental hospitals because of it and lost years of their lives. I know one guy who was a brilliant physicist. Right now he's packaging condoms in some factory. His mind just could not integrate the new insights.

As for alcohol, try not drinking it for a while and see how that works out for you. If I drink alcohol my energy system gets whacked for a week. It's not a big effect but it's noticeable. I started to dislike it because of that reason. I still occasionally drink though.

Quote:Since the initial awakening I've been trying to make sense of the true nature of reality.
You caused reality...
Sorry for ruining the surprise Wink


I think you are allowed to call yourself an initiate now. You basically did what needed to be done. And since you did this to yourself without guidance, I think it's safe to assume you were an initiate in quite a few past lives. Especially since you just naturally assumed some power postures. If you feel this makes sense, tell your god/higher self/vacuum cleaner to connect your conscious reality to the knowledge of those days. It won't be instantly like "you read the books" but relevant fragments might turn up and events could happen that explain relevant information to you.

Namaste
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07-31-2009, 11:44 AM,
#6
RE: My awakening
There is a way to recreate the experience of re-awakening: assist others in their process. I recommend becoming what is called a Gathered Master and then act as a servant to Gather other Masters. http://www.teachonlylove.com.

Your experience is a Christ Consciousness experience as Ali Quadir so beautifully described. This is the great awakening for all people--- The heart opening and the Energies of Male and Female intergrating and merging. It is called the Sacred Rite or the Great Marriage--- Where Sky meets Earth etc. It is also associated with the Rise of the Kundalini and the piercing of the veil... The opening of the Heart, High Heart, Throat, Third Eye and Crown Chakras... And the circulation of Energy in full activation. This also coincides with the activation of the Pineal Gland which is what continues to drive the Great Awakening. The two hemispheres of the brain begin to join together again and work together... And this gives rise to Compassionate Wisdom.. Wisdom instilled into the Heart and Compassion instilled into the Mind--- circulating between the two.

fairyfarmgirl

This does not require any drugs--- only willingness and energy and guidance from the Great-Within ((God, Goddess, Universe, your vacuum cleaner (LOL))
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07-31-2009, 12:44 PM,
#7
RE: My awakening
(07-31-2009, 11:44 AM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote:  There is a way to recreate the experience of re-awakening: assist others in their process. I recommend becoming what is called a Gathered Master and then act as a servant to Gather other Masters. http://www.teachonlylove.com.
I could not find the term gathered master on this site FairyFarmGirl. Can you say a few words about what it is? I had never heard of it before. Did you participate in this?
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07-31-2009, 03:52 PM,
#8
RE: My awakening
Good Greetings Ali Quadir:

Yes, I am a gathered Master. And yes I do participate and continue to participate in the Global Eden Event movement which is a gathering of Gathered Masters or those who wish to be gathered and do the work to assist the Earth and Cosmos in Expanding through the use of Sacred Geometry, prayer, and intention. This is a way in which to re-experience the moment of awakening through assisting others in awakening. It is the energy that provides the experience. The energy is always available in several formats. This is one way. The use of Ethenogenic ritual is another. There are other ways as well. I by far like being a Servant for the Gathering of Masters. It is gentle and concise and community building. Being a Servant for a Gathering of Masters is the way that appeals to me.

I apologize the teachonlylove.com site is being reorganized. This site tells all about it. http://www.angelicgate.com/

--fairyfarmgirl
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08-03-2009, 01:14 PM,
#9
RE: My awakening
Thanks for taking the time to reply guys.

Ali Quadir:

Thanks for the excellent insight into my awakening. I should really have posted my story much sooner but I guess I've just been taking my time to get through it myself before posting it publicly.

Quote:You say you came to your own conclusions about the theory of oneness. I'm more impressed by your spontaneous self initiation though


Could you maybe expand on this part? When you talk about initiation, what do you mean?

I'm also intrigued with this part:

Quote:I think you are allowed to call yourself an initiate now. You basically did what needed to be done. And since you did this to yourself without guidance, I think it's safe to assume you were an initiate in quite a few past lives. Especially since you just naturally assumed some power postures. If you feel this makes sense, tell your god/higher self/vacuum cleaner to connect your conscious reality to the knowledge of those days. It won't be instantly like "you read the books" but relevant fragments might turn up and events could happen that explain relevant information to you.

Looking into past lives is something that seems to be coming up more and more for me. What is the best way to go about this?

And finally, what would your interpretation of this extract from the Law of One?

Quote:"There are many upon your plane who have a random hole or gateway in their spirit energy field, sometimes created by the ingestion of chemicals such as, what this instrument would call LSD, who are able, randomly and without control, to tap into energy sources. They may or may not be entities who wish to serve. the purpose of carefully and consciously opening this channel is to serve in a more dependable way, in a more commonplace or usual way as seen by the distortion complex of the healer. to others there may appear to be miracles. To the one who has carefully opened the door to intelligent infinity this is ordinary; this is commonplace; this is as it should be. The life experience becomes somewhat transformed. The great work goes on."



I'll also be looking into Timothy Leary and the Bardo Thodol (I love his Youtube videos) and also the Gathered Master info recommended by Fairyfarm girl.

Thanks again.
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08-03-2009, 08:39 PM,
#10
RE: My awakening
(08-03-2009, 01:14 PM)DAa Wrote:  Thanks for the excellent insight into my awakening. I should really have posted my story much sooner but I guess I've just been taking my time to get through it myself before posting it publicly.
You were wise. If you take no time to digest what it means to you. How are you going to evaluate other peoples opinions?

(08-03-2009, 01:14 PM)DAa Wrote:  
Quote:You say you came to your own conclusions about the theory of oneness. I'm more impressed by your spontaneous self initiation though


Could you maybe expand on this part? When you talk about initiation, what do you mean?

Basically initiation is a handshake with the divine. The spiritual lineages in mans society work according to the principle of taking people up to the divine and giving them a moment for the handshake and the rest depends on tradition.

Some people who were strongly connected in past lives will create the possibility to become reinitiated. Often by formally joining a spiritual lineage. However, some of them, like you, disperse with those formalities, probably similar to how you don't ask someone to introduce you to someone who is already a friend. I think there's a lot more of these people these days. I technically walked the lineage path though I can hardly be considered typical there. I just kinda hopped in front of some people on lineage paths and inherited from them.

It's just an initiation though. There is a lot to figure out. I don't think anyone can really tell you how it all works. There's a huge body of knowledge on the topic and everyone has a different opinion on it. Not to mention that there's no replacement for experiencing it. Best to do is to follow your intuitions and diligently apply discernment. Read various opinions on a matter, compare, feel your way around and find your personal sweet spot, the spot where you feel most confident about. Don't be afraid to change your mind. And try to have as few expectations as possible so it can be what it is and not something that is compared to expectation.


Quote:Looking into past lives is something that seems to be coming up more and more for me. What is the best way to go about this?
Actually don't worry too much about this, it's not essential. The most relevant bits of past lives are exactly the same in your current life. Basically it means you're karmically so similar that you share experiences opinions and thoughts. What is relevant to know does not need to be found in a past life. And the details of past lives have a real potential to misguide us. Some consider karma like debt. It's something you have to repay. Others consider it identification. You've become so covered in blue paint that you start to think you're actually the color blue and create a life that expresses this belief.

But if you wanted to explore past lives there's a lot of choice. Just be discerning. Not everything is useful appropriate or even related to you.


My understanding of individual lives are that they're not exactly individual, they're not exactly lives either. The psychoverse is a huge collection of experiences opinions patterns and interactions. Any life is just a random cross section of the whole. For example the human experience is shared with billions, the initiate experience is similar.

Superficially lives seem extremely separated individual units. But they often share the same karmic patterns. Any two cross sections of the psychoverse are more or less alike and able to resonate. If they resonate particularly well then information starts to bleed through and the living beings become aware of each other. You could see two past lives as one individual in two lives working on the same karma. Or you could see them as two individuals working on the exact same karma. If one solves it, both solve it. It's a different understanding of the same principle.

From one point there is two individuals having separate lives encountering similar issues either resolving or not resolving it at some point not necessarily the same point. From another point there's one issue that the psychoverse is working on through two different human beings.

What we all are and what you felt is underlying nature of this psychoverse. Basically all the lives are simultaneously experienced by this underlying nature. We, because we are connecting to a specific life, cannot experience this totality but by shutting down the mind with lsd spiritual practice or unfortunate incidents can sometimes trigger glimpses of the underlying superconsciousness. We can cultivate this to the level of a living understanding but individuality remains we just perceive it as less relevant.

I feel uncomfortable explaining the passage of Ra to you. I am just a beginner in understanding the Ra material. The story above is my own experience sometimes helped by others. I brought here from another field. You should not see my opinion as his.

I think though that he's just basically directly stating that some people discover their psychic potential. Meaning that they discover another way of understanding life that allows for considering some events normal that others might consider miracles.
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11-24-2009, 02:08 PM,
#11
RE: My awakening
Thanks for sharing...

I know that drugs are not required for an awakening or awareness...but it seems that many wanderers do take this route while in the teenage years or early adult hood. I am not sure my mind would of ever of pondered on some of the things it did without my 'escaping' reality in my earlier years. Its like they opened a window of perspective for me later in life.
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11-29-2009, 07:42 PM,
#12
RE: My awakening
Thank you for joining the forum, DAa. You have launched an intriguing discussion.

I have never taken psychoactive drugs. The closest I've come is feeling more open-minded than usual while taking strong prescription painkillers. I've also not had a spiritual awakening experience like you describe. So I am not qualified to share an insider's perspective, but I can comment on what I've observed other people have said about these experiences.

If I understand Dr. Leary right, he believed that spiritual truth was already present all around us. He saw psychedelic drugs as a tool to help the human nervous system be able to connect with these realities.

There is another forum thread here about Carla Rueckert's LSD experiments and how that might have affected the Ra material.

Just the other day, I saw an excellent documentary on the History Channel about the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I don't know if they have plans to rerun it, but the DVD is available for sale here. http://shop.history.com/detail.php?p=69968 This documentary gave a respectful overview of the history of Buddhist, Tibet, the Book's author, its rediscovery, its teachings, and the controversy about Dr. Leary's work.

From my own reading of the Book, I think the documentary left out one concept, which is that reincarnation is not actually necessary and if the soul is alert enough, the process of rebirth can be entirely avoided through a merger with the Light. I suspect that this was simply left out of the documentary because there wasn't enough time to try to explain those esoteric concepts to a general audience.
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11-30-2009, 07:20 PM,
#13
RE: My awakening
Back in the days when I was seeing a psychiatrist (neither I nor the ones I love have always considered me awakened…the first response on both fronts was “wow, you must be insane!”) I got put on some sort of legal amphetamines, which gave me some exceedingly trippy experiences. I absolutely hated it but I wonder if it had any impact on the natural awakening that occurred after I got off the medication. At this point I can induce an “acid trip” naturally, and the whole world breaks down into particles and light and colors, but it still freaks me out sometimes.

Welcome to the site! I’m very glad you’ve come to a sense of peace through whatever means. Join the universal party!

-Lynn
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04-17-2010, 12:34 AM,
#14
RE: My awakening
Hello DAa,

Well I have many thoughts about your 'moment'.....in short......Wonderful and thank you for sharing

Love Everything xxx
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