I did the Morning Offering and then got myself ready for the day. Today the Q’uo quote comes from March 3, 1991:
I would like to know how to draw anger out of my son and reestablish a calm relationship with him. There is a lot of pent-up anger and it comes out in inappropriate behaviors. He is a very sensitive, bright child. He never felt that he fit in anywhere. He has never felt like he belonged anyplace that he’s been. He’s never been able to adapt to just functioning in the everyday world. He tends to be off in his own world quite a bit, and he can’t reconcile the two and it comes out in anger which is expressed physically and that type of thing.
I am Q’uo. We greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator through this instrument, with thankfulness that you have called us and the one known as Aaron to offer our opinions. Take what each feels is his own truth and please leave the rest behind.
The communications of a spiritual nature which promise that the result of spiritual seeking shall be a simplified, comfortable and easy existence are promising the direct opposite of that which is the inevitable outcome of living the life as a spiritual seeker that is eager to accelerate the rate of spiritual evolution. This situation is one good example of this truth. Spiritual awareness often brings pain, for one is now responsible for an enlarged grasp of the nature of illusory catalyst and its purpose. The more one accelerates this pace of learning, the more one is responsible for creating a way of living in faith that is the equal of the concepts which have enlightened one.
One such concept is the spiritual truth that all are one, and that within each one there is all of the universe of possibilities of attitudes and biases. Thusly, when one experiences another’s anger, one is, in truth, in terms of one’s spiritual growth, gazing at the self. What one has not come to forgive in one’s self, one feels far more keenly when the mirrors of intimate family members and friends express in any way. The son’s anger then becomes a mirror held ruthlessly and clearly up to the face of the parent. The parent, in assuming that the child is separated from the self, is cheating the self of the valuable, accurate mirroring of the self to the self through the catalyst of another.
Let us gaze at anger towards the self, for this is truly the spiritual situation. Has this seeker allowed an awareness of its own anger to ripen and mature until it can look at that anger it feels without judgment? If all entities possess in potentiation all qualities, should it surprise one when a seemingly negative quality appears in the mirror? Must you turn away from the mirror because it is too painful to see the self which is that behavior and painful experience of the other self? The best teacher of accepting the negative aspect of the self is the drawing of the attention, as the one known as Aaron has so rightly said, to those many times when one is experiencing, either in one’s own mirror of self to self or in the mirror held up by another to the self, all the loving, compassionate, helpful and wise portions of the self. The beginning of the healing of self-judgment is the awareness that the mirror does not always show the negative or negatively perceived aspects of consciousness.
Intellectually it is easy to say we are each all things; we contain all that there is. But much circumnavigation and rationalization is practiced by most spiritual seekers in order to avoid gazing into the mirror when it shows that which is perceived as negative qualities which the self, of course, shares, as it contains all things and all qualities. Thusly, the focus is upon the healing of the self; and that healing begins not with the head-to-head confrontation of self with the disappointment in the self but simply of the self. Sit with the self. Watch what arises and departs within the mind, within the heart. Watch each transaction to discover, not how to change the self but simply how to identify the self more clearly within the self. For until the spiritual seeker accepts itself as it perceives itself—that is, in a state of considerable error—it cannot gaze in compassion at the mirrors which reflect that self to the self.
The injunction to “Know thyself” is primary and fundamental to a life lived in faith. Again, we emphasize that as the student of spiritual principles moves further in assimilating material, the responsibility for living the spiritual principles involved in that material becomes ever more challenging. The critical observer-self seems biased toward noting not what is right but what is lacking and by this unhappy habit, many have come to the conclusion that they are unworthy and incapable of becoming that which they wish to be. This is not so. The road does not end. It is, however, occasionally very bumpy and stony. Yet the pilgrim, when it is rested, moves on as best it can, clambering over debris and stony paths with the eye always upon this precise moment, this particular resonance of infinity as it intersects with the life-stream, perceived within the illusion as linear.
Always, infinity is at the behest of one which chooses to remember the infinite Creator and the love the entity has experienced from this great source of love. Thusly, in healing the self-judgment, the parent is then able to express itself as an healed and whole entity, and is thus able to give whatever it may find possible to give out of a fullness of heart, a total and 360-degree acceptance of the self, knowing that the self is indeed all things, positive and negative, as is perceived within the illusion. When this healing is complete, then the entity may simply sit with this anger from another and see it as a catalyst which has done its job already.
There was a question as to how this parent could deal with the anger that it saw in its son. Q’uo began their response by saying that the spiritual path is often full of the difficulty of processing the catalyst that provides spiritual growth. Then Q’uo said that because all are one in a universe of unity that when the parent perceives anger in the child it is seeing the mirror of its own anger which it has not forgiven itself for, and they suggested that the parent see this anger and allow it to ripen to the point that it has no judgement for itself having anger within it. Then Q’uo said that the way to heal the self judgement was to sit with the self–In meditation I believe–and watch the thoughts that arise and fall away within the mind and heart so that one becomes aware of the variety of characteristics that it contains. Then by remembering that it is also the Creator, the parent is able to accept itself as a 360 degree being which has been able to use anger as the catalyst to heal itself. In 74.11, Ra spoke of this same process:
I am Ra. The heart of the discipline of the personality is threefold. One, know yourself. Two, accept yourself. Three, become the Creator.
The third step is that step which, when accomplished, renders one the most humble servant of all, transparent in personality and completely able to know and accept other-selves. In relation to the pursuit of the magical working the continuing discipline of the personality involves the adept in knowing itself, accepting itself, and thus clearing the path towards the great indigo gateway to the Creator. To become the Creator is to become all that there is. There is then no personality in the sense with which the adept begins its learn/teaching. As the consciousness of the indigo ray becomes more crystalline, more work may be done; more may be expressed from intelligent infinity.
There is eventually no self-perceived need to assign any quality to the other self, for that quality has clearly been seen within the self and forgiven within the self. It is in this acceptance and rest that the child may come to believe that it is possible to be miserable and yet to be hopeful, for the child knows well the parent and knows well the parent’s version of this same negative trait, as perceived within the illusion. When the parent authentically establishes an healed awareness of self, when it is capable of saying, “Just as I am, just this much is perfect in a way I do not understand but perceive by faith alone,” then compassion flows from that womb which is the true heart, which is ever pregnant with the fullness of love and ever propagating itself in seeds of fullness out of fullness that may rain upon those about it. Thus, in finding the peace and acceptance of the self, one finds the acceptance of the unquiet mirror offered by another self.
[Pause while the tape is turned over.]
I am Q’uo. We continue. When one is able fully to accept that self, one then becomes the healer who has healed the self first and is willing simply to act as catalyst, as the light upon the hill which gleams forth hope to those who are mired in pain.
So much between parent and child is a learning for the child based upon simple imitation. When two spirits with the same sort of areas of perceived weakness are parent and child, it may clearly be seen that each is the teacher of each. Thus, in allowing the self to heal, one by definition has allowed the entire creation to heal.
What is concern but a kind of fear, fear lest that loved one not be happy? We ask you, can any entity create happiness either for the self or for another? The answer, as far as we know, is that happiness is like a visitor that never stays long. It brings its gifts, it holds in its embrace the self, it shares in rejoicing and love; and quickly, perhaps before the self has even grasped the source of this happiness, the weather of the emotions becomes cloudy and the happiness is gone, leaving the self, perhaps, to brood overmuch on loss of happiness.
What baggage creates anger? What is it that is picked up and held and cherished that creates the anger of the self? Perhaps we may suggest that anger, at base, is anger at the lack of complete acceptance of the self. Thusly, to work upon one’s own anger, it is well to perceive the benefits of not striving to become anything, not trying to advance, but simply trying to allow an awareness of the full nature of the self, to be held in the gentle arms of that nurturing portion of the self. Once one’s own inner child, which is often angry because of lack of control, has been clearly perceived, then the attempts of a young soul—that is, young within this incarnation—to control the environment in order to make the self heard or in some way more secure can be accepted as the spiritual process it truly is.
Each of you sees the self, unless one is careful, as a solid object; that is, a solidified being which is such and such a way. However, the present moment insists that there is no solidity of being or of the qualities of being, either positive or negative, but rather that the present moment flows from present moment to present moment to present moment. To see oneself in process, and that the process is ongoing in far more large terms than one incarnation, is to allow oneself the perception of the enormous malleability and plasticity of the self in process: The Creator is not done with any. None is finished. All are in process. Let this sink into the heart so that it feels less and less judgment; and when it experiences judgment, it accepts that judgment also as a portion of the self. When all is seen clearly, choices may be made more skillfully. Once the element of fear is removed, the loving heart is content to offer itself without condition and without over-concern for the pain of a beloved other self.
Now Q’uo said that when the parent is able to love and accept itself for its own anger, then it is able to love and accept the child as it is, and each has become the teacher of the other. Then Q’uo said that this process of learning to love and accept the self is one that continues from one present moment to another and another as we are infinite beings on an infinite journey of accepting ourselves as well as any judgement of our many characteristics. Q’uo completed their response by saying that once fear is removed one may offer itself in service without condition or over-concern for the pain of the child. On May 1, 1994, Q’uo emphasized the value of learning how to accept the self:
Thusly, to move from tolerance to celebration of others, the first challenge is to begin to perceive the self within this larger view which does not judge but rather uses energy in a positive and creative manner, in self-acceptance, self-forgiveness and self-empowerment. To keep faith, continue in hope and do all such good works as open before the eyes. When this has been perceived as a goal towards which to move, then it is that the self becomes able to extend this charity to other selves.
Is there at this time a following query?
T: I have just a short question. Most was answered by the previous channeling. My question is, in my life I am looking for love, for someone to be with and share my life with. I realize that I have to accept myself, and there are many things about myself that make me angry and that I cannot accept. I realize that I have to do this first. My question is, While I attempt to accept myself, am I being counterproductive in even attempting to find this love outside of myself?
I am Q’uo. To continue this thought, we would bring the attention back to a fundamental concept regarding the nature and purpose of the third-density incarnational experience. Earlier this instrument was singing a phrase from your holy works, “for he is like a refiner’s fire.” In this pioneer density, it is not expected that all the slag and dross of self shall be purified. It is expected, rather, that in the darkness of unknowing and by faith alone, one may see that the incarnational experience is a process, first of choosing the way that the self wishes to be distilled, of what essence it wishes to smell; and then having made that fundamental choice of how to love, opening oneself to the very painful process (to the self, which does not like to change) of distillation or refining. This instrument often sings a prayer which is, “Temper my spirit, O Lord. Keep it long in the fire. Make me one with the flame. Let me share that upreaching desire. Grasp it Thyself, O my God, Swing me straighter and higher. Temper my spirit, O Lord. Temper my spirit, O Lord… “
The densities above your own are densities in which this refining process progresses from the point at which you are when you graduate from the third-density schoolroom. Shall we say that in third density, the Higher Self, which is the Creator, evaluates and grades, shall we say, using the curve, as this instrument would call it. There is not absolute perfection possible. Thusly, one is simply hoping in a relativistic way to approach nearer and nearer to a heartfelt dedication to begin the refining process in a conscious manner, not simply reacting to the stimuli in this thick darkness of unknowing but choosing rather to live a life in blind faith and to prosecute that first choice of service to others which does begin in love of self with every possible vehemence and passion.
There is always much to forgive when the self perceives the self. We suggest that each entity may helpfully see all the dross of self, not as shameful but as inevitable—as, to use the one known as Ram Dass’s phrase, grist for the mill. Thus, one can refrain from fear of one’s own fears, anger at one’s angers, judgment at one’s own unskillful judgments, so that the process may be seen mercifully, that the self may see that the self plunges into the furnace by choice. Yet we would suggest that loving-kindness and mercy be a portion of self-awareness, so that one is able to move into the refiner’s fire only when it will not do violence to the young, precious spiritual self that was born immaculately within when the first decision was made of how to serve the infinite Creator. The choice to serve others is not a conclusion; it is the cornerstone or beginning of a process of distillation that will continue for a long, long time, as you understand time.
We would conclude with a comment about emotion. Entities over-value the intellect because it seems to the intellect that one has only the intellect with which to analyze situations. In the strict sense of analysis and linear thinking, this is so. Yet by depending upon that analytical ability, the attention is drawn from the true intelligence of the self, the true seat of wisdom, which is the mercy seat of purified emotion. It is not your lack of self-acceptance, it is a lack of self-acceptance, a quality which you now dip into and experience and use. It is not personal to you. It is an emotion felt by you and by many. In emotion one is never alone, for the emotions run like the underground waterways which bubble up in clear springs at their own time and season. One who wishes to dig a well to tap this underground or subconscious source of the water of spiritual refinement needs to go gently, to go deep carefully, so that one rather woos or courts the earth away which lies between it and the water of purified emotion, which is a portion of the deep wisdom of the self. Honor each emotion. Look at it as you would gaze at a gem, at a crystal. You may see it as imperfect, but it is your truth. As you turn that crystal, flawed as it is, you may see that though it refracts light unevenly, yet the refraction is full of beauty and color. Thusly, in honoring the emotions for the wisdom that they truly convey, one is able to bear the pain of self-revelation, which is the essence of conscious entrance into a safe and gentle refining fire, a fire that does not burn away that which you still need.
T wanted to find a life mate and believed that he needed to be able to accept himself before he would be able to do so, but his question was whether he should try to find that mate while he was trying to accept the anger he had for himself. Q’uo began their reply by saying that in this third density the process of purifying the self is one which takes a great deal of time with its goal being to make the choice of how to love and open the self to the painful process of change. They said that perfection in this process of learning to love and serve the self and others was not possible, and that one must move forward in blind faith using the catalyst of change and feel mercy and kindness towards the self as it makes the basic choice of serving others that will continue through all the higher densities. Q’uo continued their answer by saying that it is well not to depend overly much on the intellect in this process of learning to love the self, and they said that it was the emotions of the deeper self that needed to be utilized in a gentle way in order to tap into the deep wisdom of the self. They concluded by saying that we should honor each emotion for the wisdom it contains and allow the pain of self-revelation to burn away the emotions that we no longer need. On November 23, 1996, Q’uo revealed the nature of our deeper self:
In working with the self in this regard, we find it helpful to ask that which the one known as Ra first offered through this instrument: “Where is the love in this moment?” By turning to this universal question, by asking, by desiring that quality, that question, you open doors within your deeper Self—that self which abides in the awareness you do not have access to in your conscious mind. This deeper Self knows where the love is. Therefore, by asking that question and then by abiding in faith with patience and an inner knowing, that which is sought shall come to you. The thousand and one specific details of everyday occurrences are taken from that world of manifestation and handed up as a noble and holy offering to the Creator: “Here is my confusion; here is my pain; here are all my emotions; here is my confusion; here is my mental anguish.” And that great Being which lies within embraces the self, the concern, the anguish of unknowing, and responds in silence with love.
Within the moment of asking lies the perfect and balanced response. The skill of the seeker is to trust that process and to keep the mind upon the question, “Where is the love?” and to keep the mind upon the moment wherein the question is asked. If you can come to the present moment and know it, you have entered eternity.
I am Q’uo. In parting, we would offer to each that which is not original or new, but that which seems at this particular moment to be helpful. We would preface this by saying that each entity is far more than it realizes itself to be, yet the ruthlessly literal nature of logical processes in which the mind is so often engaged creates a situation wherein the body is indeed the creature of the mind. But the body, in its literal hearing of the mind, expresses itself as literally as possible in response to catalyst that has not been used by the mind, thus expressing within the body in a very dogmatic and fundamentalist way, if one were to speak in terms of spirituality, those blockages or difficulties encountered by the mind as stimulus.
Thusly, we would ask each to perceive again that there are indeed, as we have been speaking of in these last few sessions, two hearts and two minds. The mental mind is shallow, but extremely useful for dealing with the illusion. The second mind is that heart or emotional self wherein lies deeper knowledge, deeper wisdom, and true awareness. Likewise, there is that heart which is the heart of wisdom and which would give anything and everything to ameliorate or palliate pain, either self-perceived or perceived by another who comes to the self for helpful advice. This first heart strives in its wisdom ever to become more wise, more purified in its emotions and its wisdoms. The second heart is indeed the heart which needs to be worked with in softening the self to “resist not evil,” as the phrase goes.
This heart, whether male or female, can be imagined as a womb which is full, soft, and pregnant with unlimited fullness. Each time that one experiences the tightening of any portion of the physical vehicle, it is well to move gently, slowly, down this tree of mind and heart to the full heart, which gives a fullness without diminishing itself. Feel the tension in all of the body, but especially in this womb-heart and literally in the way the abdomen is tensed. One may even push at the abdomen to feel the degree of tension and explore this as a physical sensation. Then one may guide one’s breath ever deeper, breathing in mercy and loving-kindness, allowing that rigid belly to be soft, literally soft. You will find that as soon as the attention wanders from the softness of that abdomen, of that womb, the belly begins once again to tense. The entire body, when facing the catalyst of pain, reacts quite literally in defense by tensing against a danger. Thus, it is very, very healing to work continually with patience at the unending task of relaxing that creature of mind which is the body, and especially allowing the breath to flow into the heart-womb, bringing its gentleness and its healing to dissolve tension, and breathing out all that tension in deep, spontaneous breathing, not to attempt to breath deeper than usual but simply to breath in visualized love, nurturing light, and spaciousness in which the self may relax.
In the case of a solidified pain due to illness, there are many, many layers of tension and tightness. Thus, it is not enough to do this exercise once or periodically, but rather to honor the self by paying the coin of attention and mindfulness that it deserves. Attend to the state of the tenseness of the body; and whenever it is perceived, in whatever company or circumstance, allow the mind to do its visualization of softening that heart-womb of fullness and allowing that fullness to give out of fullness into fullness at the cellular level for all of the body. Then, the feedback of body to mind becomes that which the mind cannot create; that is, mercy and merciful forgiveness.
May each respect its own striving to be more and more a channel for the love and the light of the infinite One, but may each also perceive the mercy and kindliness of a Creator which is love, and allow that love to inform ever more deeply the conscious being which often feels unloved.
You are all beautiful. The blending of your vibrations is that which gives us enormous aesthetic pleasure; and the joining of our hearts to yours in shared thought is a more precious gift than we can convey with mere words. So allow the love of the Creator which is channeled through us and through each other to rest upon you, now and in each moment. We would leave you in the love, the light, and the peace of the infinite One. We are known to you as those of the principle, Q’uo. Adonai. Adonai vasu borragus.
This morning Anna and I gave each other updates on what has been happening in our lives since the last time that we listened to Carla channel Ra. Then we synchronized our computers, hers in Nashville, and mine in Louisville, and listened to Carla channel Ra in Session #15 while we were able to see the words that she was channeling as well. Once again,we were able to pause the channeling from time to time and talk about a concept that we didn’t fully understand that the slowness of the channeling gave us more time to think about.
This afternoon I did my weekly cleaning of the upstairs, and my first work was to use the carpet sweeper on the hall runner rug. Then I used my broom and dustpan to sweep up the kitty litter in Benny’s room. My last job was to use the dust mop in all three rooms and the hall.
From A Book of Days, channeled by Carla L. Rueckert:
Free At Last
I am of the principle of Jesus the Christ. I come in the power and wholeness of the consciousness of divine love.
This creative force hatched the universe and formed all things in beauteous array. This love created you and sustained and protected you until this moment. This creative love is part and parcel of your own selfhood.
Why, then, are you so full of doubt? Do you not know the power of divine and creative love? Do you not recognize the spirit of that love as a powerful good within your own life?
Take up what you consider to be your burdens and let your shoulders bend under the weight. And then take up the light and the life of love and add it to your burden. And feel the weight diminish and cease to be. Feel your back straighten, your broad shoulders free at last. For service in the strength of creative love is no burden, but a pleasure.
May your work be a joy to you. May your self-perceived burdens fall away under the light of divine love, in the spirit of helpfulness and comfort. For do you not seek to be a servant of love? And in that service do you not perceive your true nature?
Go into freedom.
We leave you in love and peace abiding, now and ever. Amen.
I said the prayer at the Gaia Meditation tonight:
We come in the name of love and open our hearts, minds, and souls to send love, light, and healing energy to Mother Earth as she brings forth a new Earth in the fourth density. We ask that the infinite love, light and healing energy of the One Infinite Creator heal the hearts of all souls in pain on Earth tonight. May all souls on Earth feel our love, light, and healing energy in their hearts, their minds, and their souls. Amen.