I did the Morning Offering and then got myself ready for the day. The Q’uo quote today comes from June 21, 1993:

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and in light through this instrument. It is a privilege at this time to ask if there might be any further queries to which we may speak. Is there another query at this time?

Questioner: I have a comment and see what you can say about it. A feeling this whole year has been that it has not been my third density personality, fourth density, whatever density personality that is going through the difficulties that I, in the past, have always gladly with light heart and, as Carla would say, as “keeper of the watchtower” offer back to the Creator gladly the hardships that I would travel and meet. But something has happened this year that has, I feel very firmly about, has affected my magical self, a part of me that I never really thought would ever be attacked, because of my utmost naiveté and faith and automatic turning to the light.

The valley and the shadows that I have been walking through have shaken the very foundation of my magical place, something that I find frightening. It’s only been because of the habit of turning to the light that I have held on. Because I have heard self say, “No.” And that in itself … something has happened, and it’s only been in the reservoir of having led the life on the magical path that has kept a darkness at bay, but I am concerned because I am finding myself, my magical self, growing less purposeful in experiencing and giving back to the Creator the experiences of my magical identity, the purpose for my being here. I need to know more than just giving back to the Creator the experience that seems very arrogant, the purpose of my magical identity, because the price this year has been incredibly high and the pain, incredibly deep.

I am Q’uo, and we listened with great sympathy to the pain and anguish which you describe, and we feel a great kinship with you, for each of you who walk through the valley of the shadow of death that is the third-density illusion walks with great courage and as you have said this day, a kind of naiveté, that is at once a shining light and a protection to those who walk in the valley of illusion.

We would hasten to suggest that it is not your magical personality that has suffered the blows that you have felt, for each entity such as yourself that has come to this illusion to serve in the light has a magical personality which is unblemished, as is yours. That which you have experienced as your magical personality is, in relation to your true magical personality, but the barest beginnings of a description of its fullness.

For as you work in a magical sense in this illusion, you establish a contact with this personality that is truly magical in its essence. This contact is made of but the finest fibers of light and love, constructed with the greatest of efforts by you in your work that is metaphysical in nature. As you continue to travel this pathway, this light and love woven thread leading to the magical personality, you strengthen this pathway, Even the strongest of magicians, shall we say, in your third density illusion, touch only a portion of that personality which resides, safely and securely, within the six-density level of experience.

What you have felt in this past year, as you have described it, is more the pathway becoming less and less accessible, or so it would seem to you in your experience. Yet, may we also suggest that this pathway is accessible though it may seem to be not so accessible as previously. This is as because as you go through those experiences of difficulty which we have described as initiation, there is the changing perception of your third-density personality as it seeks for that which it once knew as a pathway, and finds brambles and stones and dryness of experience.

This is a part of this transformative experience which, when completed, will have served to temper even more precisely and finely that pathway which you travel to the magical personality, but there will be a new you, for the third-density entity which you have been, and are now, is that entity which is being transformed by the difficulties of the experience. Thus, the tempering is by fire and seems to destroy that which once was.

As the …

[Side on of tape ends.]

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo. We shall continue. Those of your friends and your guides and teachers are with you always and are aware of your difficulty and give aid where they can and guidance where it is possible. However, this particular kind of transformation is that which requires the one undergoing the transformation to seek with one’s own efforts, as fully as possible. Thus, the darkness seems far more black and full of difficulty than has any previous experience.

However, we assure you, my sister, that there is aid at hand, and even though you feel there is no response to your call for assistance, there is the love and the light sent by all those whose honor it [inaudible] is to walk with you upon this journey.

We counsel you to have faith and take heart that in these times of trials and testings that you will survive. You will make the feeling of unity that once was yours become again as the steady state of your experience. This testing is a great gift that is given, both to you, as you experience it, and given by you to the Creator, as you are victorious in your testing.

We can say to you that you are doing well, though it may seem such is not the case. Be of good spirits, my sister, for we walk with you, always.

Questioner said that she had been having a terrible time with psychic attacks upon her magical personality that she has been experiencing in a way that she would have easily been able to handle previously, and she even heard herself say “No.” So she felt less able to give back to the Creator as she had been able to normally, and she wanted to know the purpose of her magical identity as her spiritual pain has been so powerful. Q’uo began their reply by saying that it was not her magical personality that had suffered the attacks because her true magical personality is truly magical and formed out of light and love. Q’uo went on to say that it was the beginning formation of that magical personality that seems to have become less accessible as she has been going through the difficulties of herself changing in a manner that is known as initiation, and when this process was completed that she would have become a new person. Then Q’uo said that even though her guides and teachers were with her, and assisting her when possible, that she must go through this process of change on her own, and this makes it seem that she is moving in darkness, so she must have faith that she will survive the trials and testings and become one once again with the Creator. On September 1, 2019, Q’uo spoke of how the process of initiation occurs:

The process of initiation is one which requires great dedication to the seeking and serving of the One Infinite Creator. It would be well for any entity so desiring this initiation to engage in frequent meditation, in which there is observed within the being those forms of catalyst which have remained unprocessed, or not completely processed, for it is necessary for the energy centers of any initiate to be functioning in a fashion which is clear and somewhat crystalized, shall we say. This requires the efficient use of catalyst. Thus, one may observe at the end of your day the experiences that were intentionally noted, be they what you would call happy, or be they what you would call sad—any experience that leaves the mark within the mind at the end of the day is that which must be observed, then balanced and accepted within the beingness of the seeker of truth, for each of you is like a crystal. Each of your energy centers may, indeed, be crystalized so that the love and light of the One Infinite Creator moves clearly and cleanly through each center. The love and the light of the One Infinite Creator contains that which you call catalyst that has been colored by your subconscious mind in a fashion which biases you to see the actions of those around you in a certain way that corresponds to pre-incarnative choices that are the lessons you have chosen to learn within this incarnation.

If you will look, then, at the experiences of your day which move you one way or another, but move you, then use the balancing exercises, this will allow you to become in effect, an initiate. You do not need a pyramid with the Queen’s Chamber position in order to avail yourself of this ability to become initiated. You are, yourself, the King’s Chamber position that is able to utilize the power of the upward spiraling light as it moves through your energy centers, to become the true initiate.

Is there a further query?

Questioner: No, thank you.

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, my sister. Is there another query, at this time?

Carla: I have one. You said, “Don’t be afraid.” You said it somewhere. “Take courage,” I think you said and the verse says, “I will fear no evil.” But it is scary. It is terribly frightening. It’s terrifying, especially when you feel like the negativity’s right within yourself and it’s you and you’re sort of attacking yourself, in the end.

I had that after Don died. I really just felt very suicidal and hopeless and the only thing that kept me going was, like S said, the habit of turning to the light. I just was determined to keep my faith, but it didn’t make it the less hurtful or terrifying and I had lots of nightmares.

Is there some way that you can reduce the terror factor while you’re having to go through it? I mean, I realize what you’re doing is building a whole new personality that takes in the fruits of everything that was learned before, and I know that means pain, because change always mean pain. But how can you get comfort when you’re so wretched?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. We must suggest that there is but little comfort in this transformation experience. There is the strength that comes from faith, continually exercised. Faith that there is an end to this experience. Faith that there is strength within to overcome that which seems to be overwhelming, and we can assure each of you that as you move from this illusion and look back upon your experiences here, you shall rejoice at those areas of darkness, that you have been blessed with light, with love, and with the faith in your journey and in your efforts and in the unity of all things.

Is there a further query?

Carla: No. Thank you very much for that.

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, once again, my sister. Is there another query, at this time?

[No further queries.]

I am Q’uo, and as it appears that we have exhausted the queries for the nonce, we shall once again express our great gratitude at being invited to join you in this circle of seeking. It is not often that we are able to bathe in these vibrations of harmonious interaction that are born at the meeting of these entities present. We especially are grateful for being able to speak with, and walk with, the one known as S.

At this time, we shall take our leave of this group and this instrument, leaving each, as always, in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

This morning Anna and I synchronized our computers in Nashville and Louisville to listen to Carla channel Ra in Session 33. Before we got started each of us shared the updates on what has been going on in our lives since we saw each other, and my great news was that my power came back on last night at 6:30, after being off for six and one-half days, due to the electrician finishing the installation of my new generator. The power was available from LG&E a couple days before, but it had to be turned off until the new generator was installed, or the electrician would have been electrocuted. (Fortunately, the electrician loaned me his gas-powered generator that allowed me to use extension cords to power my refrigerator, microwave over, and gain access to the internet.) After that I vacuumed the house and then took the first load of laundry out of the dryer that I started earlier in the morning and put the second load in the washing machine. Then I ironed the flat sheet for my bed and the bedroom in the basement that is under my bedroom and also put the bed sheets, cover, and pillow cases back together again.

This afternoon I took the second load of laundry out of the washing machine and put it in the dryer and later, when it was dry I ironed the flat sheets for the second bedroom in the basement that had been occupied during our Homecoming and put the bed sheets, cover, and pillow cases back together again.  

From A Book of Days, channeled by Carla L. Rueckert:

June 2

Your Connection With Eternity

I am of the principle of Jesus the Christ, and I greet you in the full consciousness of divine love.

Experience in this moment the fullness of joy. Let go of every limitation, every negative thought, and everything that may keep you from perfect joy. Experience this natural and wondrous feeling in its purity and allow it to remove your consciousness from the mundane concerns of a limited world.

You are creatures of a human lifetime and in that expression you may offer certain gifts. The ground of these gifts, however, lies in your connection with eternity.

We leave you in love and peace, both now and always. Amen.

I said the prayer at the Gaia Meditation tonight:

We come in the name of love and open our hearts, minds, and souls to send love, light, and healing energy to Mother Earth as she brings forth a new Earth in the fourth density. We ask that the infinite love, light, and healing energy of the One Infinite Creator heal the hearts of all souls in pain on Earth tonight. May all souls on Earth feel our love, light, and healing energy in their hearts, their minds, and their souls. Amen.